Shame Clouds Solutions

Every individual I work with carries shame. It varies how much or how often their choices and lives seem influenced by it. Shame shows up in anxiety, self-loathing, lack of motivation, and other toxic ways. When it comes to feelings of shame, I tell people the goal is not to take yourself apart more than necessary.

When shame shows up, the next step is finding self-compassion. Self-compassion is making it safe for yourself to acknowledge your weaknesses and to move to more of a growth mindset.

Who were you at the time? What skills did you have to do something different? Would you have known a different choice to make? Was your 'nervous system in fight, flight or freezing '? I'm referring to your body's automatic, built-in system designed to protect you from threats. Was this system activated while you displayed behaviors or thoughts creating shame?

If responsibility needs to be taken, we will look at it through the bigger picture lens of compassion. Shame holds a very narrow focus and only allows us to see our unworth, but a compassionate lens helps us see why we made the choices to begin with, and self-forgiveness can start to show up.

My approach is to have you lean into how shame feels and then get the whole view while feeling it in your body. This will help you shift out of shame's control over your nervous system in real-time.

I have witnessed the transformative power of addressing shame. As the grip of shame begins to loosen, I have seen lives change for the better, time and time again.

Consultations are free.