How to Work with Shame

How to work with shame.

Shame drives disconnection rather than signaling personal brokenness.

Shame arises when we believe something about us makes us unworthy of love, belonging, or connection.

Instead of being about being “bad,” shame is rooted in the fear of isolation.

Importantly, shame also has an evolutionary function.

For example, from a survival perspective, shame helped humans stay connected to their tribe—if you violated group norms, you felt shame, which motivated reconnection.
 
However, in modern life, this evolutionary function can backfire: shame now often isolates us, undermining our ability to reconnect with others.

In addition to its effects on connection, shame thrives in secrecy and silence.

Shame loses its grip when shared in a safe, compassionate space.

Shame creates stuckness.

When shame is present, it can be more difficult to engage in the healing process or address the issues that shame highlights.
 
Approaching shame with curiosity and compassion leads to transformation and connection.

By staying curious instead of collapsing into shame, we can begin to uncover what our hearts actually want.
 
If you’re experiencing shame, you might consider sharing it with someone you trust. Although this may feel daunting, it can be an important step toward freedom from shame.

There are many embodied practices I offer to gently release shame and foster well-being. These include safe movement to help you feel unstuck, Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy, therapeutic massage, specific yoga postures, and somatic experiencing techniques.

At Somatic Life Coach LLC,  I support clients in noticing and compassionately exploring the sensations of shame within their nervous systems. Together, we cultivate curiosity and self-acceptance as pathways to healing. If you’re seeking support, I welcome you to schedule a free consultation.

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