Wounds From Parents

I had a client once who wanted to hold her mother accountable for all the ways she felt her mother had damaged her as a child.

In the same instance, she wanted a closer relationship with her mom because she had lived far away for years and her mom is older.

Her best approach was to insist her mother do the work she had done in therapy for herself—all excellent thoughts, but not a way to create a relationship.

“When we choose to reconcile with a parent and figure out a new way to be with them, we cannot come at them with all our hurts.”

Asking them to acknowledge how they parented may be something they are capable of and may not be.

If the goal is a relationship, honest communication about an interest in the other person is necessary.

If we are carrying wounds from childhood, they can heal without the parent having healed themselves or even knowing what they did.

I encouraged this woman to write letters and not send them, have gestalt conversations in the office with me, and reframe some old wounds.

Somatic therapy can help repair what is left in the nervous system from childhood, and it will allow space for new connections and relationships to form with those we love if that is our desire.

If you want reconnection with a friend, parent, child you have lost touch with because of past experiences, come in and heal so you can reach out when you are ready before the opportunity is gone.

Free phone calls or in-person consultations for Somatic Therapy are always available.