The other afternoon I had a stranger show up at my door, and in a raised voice, she shared disparaging remarks about my son. I was very impressed with my ability to stay calm.

Staying calm while being offended by someone else is hard; we have all been there. Finding the correct language when confronted out of the blue, is challenging. Hearing negative things about your child from another parent can be very triggering.

In tough situations with our kids, it's imperative to be in charge of our emotions and not overreact.

This moment had all the elements for a total meltdown on my part. Thankfully I have been using breathing techniques daily to try to keep my nervous system level. ( look at Four Steps to Changing Anger's Bigger Picture blog )

The mother had accused him of teasing a much larger kid about his weight, and that was not the case.

This mom felt so justified in her sons' story that she drove to a stranger's house, verbally bashed a child she had never met, and expected a reaction or fight from me.

I could have chosen to believe the mom, get upset, and punish my son, which is what that mother wanted.

I stayed calm and reminded myself that I know my son, and while he is not perfect, teasing someone about their appearance is not how he acts out.

When my son came home, I told him about the upset mom and waited until we both were calm to listen. I repeated back to him what I heard him saying to me, so we were on the same page.

My child did verbally retaliate when the accusing mothers' son hit him with a rock in the head. Fair enough.

Her child never mentioned the rock-throwing, which was later corroborated by other children there. Mystery solved.

Our relationships with our children should be held in grace.

We only have a few years where we have their undivided attention to teach life lessons.

Next time hopefully, my child will leave when rock-throwing occurs.

We both will make mistakes on this journey together, but the more frequently that I put our relationship ahead of being right or expecting perfection from him, the closer we will stay.

Please send me an email or give me a call to let me know where you might need grace with your kid.

It takes a village to do this, and we all could use help.