The Awareness of Clenching

My client was working on understanding how to feel emotions. His wife says I often live in my head and am unaware of my feelings. This was the goal when we started therapy: to help him become more in touch with his emotions. During our fourth session, I asked him to share one way I recognize that he is holding tension in his body. The first thing that came to mind was that he clenched his jaw.

I then asked him to reflect on the last time he clenched his jaw. I prompted him to think about where he was and what was happening then. Then, I guided him to sit and clench his jaw while gently releasing it and checking in with his body while recalling that situation. He told me, “I felt nothing in my body,” so we decided to change our approach.

I moved him to the massage table. After several minutes of breathing and shoulder massage, we tried the exercise again. I asked him to recall the moment he remembered clenching his jaw, then clenching and gently releasing it three or four times at his own pace.

After the fourth time, he had a significant realization. He understood that he clenched my jaw to swallow words and create a protective barrier. The comforting touch of the massage helped him make this connection, which had previously eluded him. This breakthrough allowed us to explore his past, where swallowing words had been helpful, and his future, where it had harmed his relationships.

For homework that week, I asked him to notice when he was clenching his jaw and whether he was using it to protect or suppress something. This deeply ingrained pattern dates back to when he had to stay quiet for fear of punishment. We can rewire this pattern by introducing a gap—specifically, the question to myself: “Why am I clenching?”

Somatic therapy focuses on the mind-body connection and helps individuals notice familiar patterns of tension tied to neural pathways associated with old wounds. These neural pathways are like well-worn paths in the brain, formed by repeated experiences and responses. By being curious about my body, my brain has to focus on the present moment, disrupting the cycle of overthinking, even temporarily.

Somatic therapy is designed to create a mind-body connection, helping us understand why we have certain beliefs and patterns of thought or behavior. Recognizing his tendency to clench his jaw is just the beginning of his healing journey, and there are many more patterns for us to discover and become aware of.

Consultations are always free.