Luck Is Not Found in Relationships

I had someone who did not know me well say to me the other day that I was lucky my ex-husband and I got along as well as we did. I wanted to say luck had nothing to do with it.

When my husband and I divorced, there was anger, harsh words, and unbelievable sadness. We both lawyered up and did not go into mediation holding hands.

I swallowed words, wrestled with my desire to paint my ex with broad brushstrokes of passive-aggressive, and emotionally stunted.

The hard work came when I saw my part in the failure of the marriage and had to own it.

I did not know how to love another person without losing my identity.

I had a clear vision of marriage that did not live in the space of reality. Encouraging my partner to be someone outside that vision was not something i understood how to do.

“In owning my part, I was able to find pieces of compassion for what I was unable to give in the relationship and offer them to myself and him. ”

Neither of us wanted the marriage to fail, but we had to get out of the patterns we set up to find ourselves.

Marriage is hard and very sticky when we come into it with all our family's baggage, wounds from previous relationships, and preconceived notions.

Whatever stage you are in, whether thinking of marriage, married or in the process of divorce, I would love to meet you.

Come in for a free Somatic Therapy consultation, and let's figure out how to help you handling your relationships in the way you want to.