Does Divorce=Failure?

I hear all the time from people filing for divorce that they are a failure. There is a massive difference between being a failure and having your marriage end.

The communication that needs to occur to stay in a healthy life-affirming relationship is hard. Most of us don't have the skills when we get married. There are typically dynamics from our parents that we are playing out as well.

Given time, I was able to reach clarity. I saw how all the dominos lined up and also how it was inevitable that they fell. This is valuable information to have if you choose to search for another partner.

Do this exercise and see what you learn.

List all the behaviors that you were complicit in during your marriage that led to its ending.

In a perfect world, how would you have liked to behave differently?

List out the ways your parents' marriage mirrored your own.

What have you learned?

Getting a divorce can be an experience that scars you for life. It can also be one you chose to repeat.

Or it can be used as an opportunity for real growth and self-investigation. Choose wisely. Life only happens once.

If this exercise helped you let me know by email or a phone call.

I don't see divorce as a failure. I see it as the end of a story. In a story, everything has an end and a beginning.

Olga Kurylenko