How to Find a therapist that is a good fit

Therapy is not a one size fits all gig if it were we would all go to the same person who would be incredibly wealthy.

Understand that we reach out for therapy when we are vulnerable, confused, and typically, not in the best mindset. Introducing ourselves to strangers even when we are succeeding is tough. Reaching out when we are struggling should be considered an act of bravery.

Fact one: Every person drawn to therapy was broken at one time and went down the path to heal themselves. Not everyone in this field has done enough work to be guiding you.

Fact two: The higher the degree does not create a better therapist.

Fact Three: Just because your friend, spouse, co-worker likes this person does not make them a good fit for you.

Fact Four: Seeking out a therapist because they have a similar belief system to you spiritually, cuts the number of decent people able to help you significantly. Being a Christian or Buddhist does not always create a better counselor.

How do you know the person you are coming to see is a good fit for you?

The most critical key is, do you feel safe? Are you able to fully relax and sit in their presence?

Symbiosis is good. Do you genuinely like this person as a human?

I have seen traditional counselors that I did not totally like, but was told they were experts in the field. I overrode the basic instinct of likability. Overriding likability bit me in the butt every single dang time.

Is this person able to stay neutral?

When you share past experiences or behaviors that you find shaming,can they not react to it or delve into their experiences with it?

If you leave therapy triggered and feeling less regulated in your nervous system than you did when you walked in, this is a red flag. Consider how often this happens, and if it is a pattern, this is not a good fit.

Therapy should bring you to a place of calm, self-love, stillness in your mind, and assuredness in your ability to navigate and handle stress.

Therapy should let you touch in on and glimpse the person you want to become after the trauma has healed.

You are the best person to know what will and won't work for you. There are many therapists out there it can be daunting work, but you can do this.

Connect with me through email or a phone call I can help you in your search. I am here to be on your team.