Stillness Reveals Insight
The first thing most people say after the first twenty minutes in a session is, "Why have I not made that connection before now? How could I have missed that?" It's not because you didn't have the answers, and it's not because I have special powers. The real reason we often miss clarity around our nervous system connections is that we're not quiet enough to let them surface. There is a real beauty in stillness that answers many of our questions. I'm not talking about meditation—though that's a great practice—but about being quiet in the presence of others and noticing what you're actually thinking by linking sensation to your thoughts.
When I first started practicing psychotherapy years ago, I felt uncomfortable with quiet moments during sessions. Some of my thoughts were, "Oh no, we're losing the client. I should be thinking of something profound to say right now," or "How is this even my job if I'm struggling?" As I worked on my own stillness outside the office—through Centering prayer, hikes in nature without headphones, silent retreats, and hundreds of hours with clients—I learned that those extra few seconds of silence often lead to clarity and awareness for the client. When we focus on our sensations rather than our stories, awareness has space to breathe. Most sessions now begin with a debrief, but after a few minutes, we shift into one of the stillness and sensation exercises I've shared in previous posts.
Sit for thirty seconds and notice your inner stillness patterns. Be curious, not judgmental.
What are your nervous system patterns around silence? Does it make you want to talk more or less? Does your inner voice get louder? Have you decided, "I'm a talker, I don't like to be quiet or still, and that's just who I am"? Do you feel a sense of panic or notice a bodily sensation when you're silent? Common responses include twitchiness, increased heart rate, or a general pushback from your mind, telling you there's a million things you need to do right now.
Maybe growing up, silence meant a parent was about to explode, or you were left alone a lot, so noise brings comfort. Maybe you've had relationships where you felt the need to be seen through talking. Whatever your experience, it's okay. We can work through these patterns to help you find more comfort in stillness—and, with that, more clarity and awareness about your nervous system and your thought and behavior patterns.
Come in and discover what several minutes in the right space, where you feel attended to and seen, can bring to light in your life. It will be profound.
Reach out for a free consultation at 719-201-1243, and let's get clear on a few things so you can experience the growth you've been striving for.