Find Calm in One Exercise
“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Yesterday I worked with two clients one had a massage, and the other did Somatic Therapy. Both clients when their session was over made the same statement, " I can't remember the last time I felt so calm."
I have empathy for all the people who are living where calm is a state of mind that is considered foreign territory. More people live this way than those who can touch in on a sense of peace.
The real sorrow is the only person in this life we will ever know is ourselves and when touching in on our sensations is too much of a threat we can't get to know who we are.
The neural pathways we set up in our brains from childhood and beyond become how we react to life. Living life this way is to live in a state lacking in personal awareness and behavioral control. We are just existing, and addictions or poor coping skills define us.
I remember what it is like to not be able to access calm in my nervous system.
When I lived that way, I tended to daydream a lot, online shop excessively and feel wired. I could sit in a room with silence, but I never understood how time would pass I was in a fog.
My responses to my spouse or my child were automatic and not intentionally chosen.
It has been years since I lived in that state where silence feels like a threat.
I have a very mindful presence in my life now although some days i am better at it than others.
I had to touch in on the sensations that I was numbing and avoiding all those years.
The road to health for me with traditional talk therapy, EMDR, and a regular massage was not enough.
It took Somatic Therapy for me to tap into what I was storing.
I spent decades afraid of what I might feel if I opened myself up to emotions. Allowing these sensations that I was sure would swallow me whole come to the surface and be acknowledged was life-changing.
Learning to trust myself to know that whatever I tapped into I could manage and accept has rearranged everything about how I experience emotion.
I now welcome the very sensations that used to scare me or send me to online shopping.
Having a skilled Somatic therapist next to me was how I finally healed.
I may fall into patterns of avoidance or daydreaming with my feelings, but it does not last for days on end anymore.
I try to take time to pause multiple times a day and do Quick Coherence breathing and check in with my sensations.
By doing this, I can stay more present, mindful and receptive to awareness. Five minutes or more of using the skills I teach others and my nervous system and mind are in a calmer more accepting state.
Knowing yourself takes courage, and it challenges your sense of comfort, but it enables you to become the person you always wanted to be. Give it a try and uncover the amazing person you are in five minutes.
Quick Coherence: (I have adapted this for my practice)
Put your right hand over your heart. Focus on the area around your heart and breathe a little slower and deeper than normal. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area. I usually breathe in and out for five seconds each and repeat for two minutes. Then I continue the breathing for another couple of minutes focusing on a state of calm or gratitude.
Paraphrased from the book: Transforming Stress for Teens: the HeartMath solution for staying cool under pressure
Rollin McCraty, Ph.D. Sarah Moor Jeff Goelitz Stephen W Lance MS
If you would like guidance and support for this exercise give me a call. A fifteen minute free Somatic Therapy consultation is always available to you.