Melissa Baldwin Therapy

View Original

Five Literal Steps to Change

I had a new client the other day. This woman has been in some form of therapy for decades. Our session was not typical of all first sessions, but it is what can happen when safety, trust, and neutrality meet.

I chose an exercise that on the onset seems ridiculously simple. I asked her to walk towards me from the opposite side of the room.

The rules are to stay in the spot chosen until you feel neutral in your nervous system and then take a step forward.

If at any time there is a sensation in your nervous system that spells discomfort take a step back or two until you are relaxed again.

Her tears started falling in step five. I asked her to return to where she was comfortable. Next, we both sat on the floor and processed what she was noticing.

There has been an uncomfortable sensation she has felt for a long time. As she walked this feeling showed itself.

Previous therapists have labeled her emotional experience as anxiety. Today she chose to label it fear.

When we choose the appropriate label for our emotions we can see clearer how long we have held them.

This simple exercise allowed her to touch in on the fear she has been avoiding most of her life.

At this stage, there is no need to know where the fear is coming from.

The magic of what occurred is there was an emotion she stuffed for decades. With a few steps, she proved to herself that she can feel fear, label it and be okay.

My client has options and choices that she did not before. There are a thousand ways to move forward from here.

We all stuff, purge, restrict, find an addiction, exercise, and have ways to cope with the emotions that are considered terrifying to us.

When we choose to feel them, change can occur.

If any part of this blog resonates with you, I want to meet you. This is my passion, choose me for your team. I am rooting for you. Send me an email or call.

Free Somatic therapy consultations always available.